Your Galley Biatch

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Your Galley Biatch

Postby Smesh » August 8th, 2016, 5:40 pm

Okay. So I have some culinary skills and I like to spearfish, but I sold my boat. So I start thinking, "I wonder if I could bribe some of these guys with good food?"

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so how about in addition to pay for fuel, I also trade my galley Biatch and pseudo chef services for a boat ride? :D

I make a lot of good food, but not all is suitable with a spearfisherman's predive diet. After the dive though....

Some of my specialities are seafood linguine with super cheesy real deal Alfredo sauce made from real butter, fresh whole cream, garlic, white wine and lots of cheese. Also Jack Daniels Belgium chocolate pecan pie. I make a variety of paleo deserts that are great boat snacks and healthy. A huge amount of other stuff.

I can make sushi, I'm one of the best BBQ gurus around (like most Canadians since we BBQ all winter in like 60 below) and I also smoke beef, pork, fish and cold smoke cheese, salmon and meats for the BBQ for that extra special flavour.

I had my guides license back home and have spent months in the bush and fish camp. I also owned a Cal 34 and have cooked at my slip and at sea. I can do shitloads with a single burner and a BBQ or fire. I make awesome shore lunches, and even smoke fish with camp fires and cardboard boxes that can be made fast and burned afterward. I am multi talented my friends. ;)

I also have some secret recipes, including a bad ass sweet and sour secret fish sauce from a family recipe that goes back generations.

AND...there are plenty of things I can make ahead of time for breakfast and lunch.

I hope some of y'all take me up on it. There are a few SoCal spearos who have tested my vittles and can vouch for the food. I genuinely love to cook, almost as much I like to hunt on land and in water. P.S. Ask about my whole smoked tenderloins and real deal Canadian bacon - not that crap you get here. :D
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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Smesh » August 8th, 2016, 5:42 pm

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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Smesh » August 8th, 2016, 5:49 pm

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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Smesh » August 8th, 2016, 6:49 pm

Someone just asked so I might as well say. I have owned numerous boats, motor and sail, and can run straight shafts, outboards, gas and diesel. I don't smoke, cigarettes or weed, and drink occasionally, but never while diving or operating a boat unless it's ONE beer on the way home and it's MY boat. :) I tell horrible jokes and when I have the farts, they are NASTY, but not nearly as bad as girl farts (just so you have some frame of reference). Fair warning.
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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Bill McIntyre » August 8th, 2016, 7:13 pm

I just cooked a dorado like that last one.

That's an impressive menu, but most of us don't have boats in which you could show your skills. If I spend the night in my boat, I've got a gas grill for burning steaks or chicken.

What I really need is someone who can dig my fish up when they tie up deep in the kelp. :)
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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Hookin » August 8th, 2016, 8:27 pm

Wish I could help you both but I don't have a boat to take you out on Smesh and Bill I can not dive deep.

Man those pictures make my mouth water.
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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Smesh » August 11th, 2016, 9:49 am

Bill I have a pony bottle just in case of a stuck anchor or a fish tied up deep. I have enough scuba gear to sink your boat if it was ever needed, but the pony bottle should be good enough for backup when spearfishing. I'm old enough and secure enough in my masculinity that I can forgo the ego and just don the bottle if needed. No point in trying to prove I'm an awesome diver and taking chances. I'm an old bull now.

As for cooking on board, I can always bring stuff ready to serve. :obscene-drinkingcheers:
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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Bill McIntyre » August 11th, 2016, 11:10 am

I carry a couple of pony bottles too. But its a hassle to go back to the boat, dig everything out and put it together, etc. If a young stud can get it done safely free diving, its faster and easier, but I'm sure not ashamed to use the bottle

Whenever I think of pony bottles, I can't help recalling something that happened close to 20 years ago. I shot my first white sea bass over 50 pounds, and back then it was a notable fish. Of course now every newbie gets one over 50 for his first one, but those were the bad old days.

The fish tied up on the bottom at what was a reasonable depth for me then. But the current came up and took all the kelp under water so that there was nothing to hang on to while breathing up. I had to swim pretty hard between dives. Then the vis was about 3 feet on the bottom. On one dive I got my hand on the shaft and could hardly see the fish, so I said "screw this. I ain't dying for a fish" and went to the boat and got my pony bottle.

I told this story on the Freedivelist and got a private email from a guy who had been diving with me quite a bit up to then. He told me that I wasn't a true freediver, and that if he ever used a bottle to retrieve a fish, he sure as hell wouldn't tell the story on the internet. I was taken aback. I replied that I was proud to be an example of safety first, and hoped that it might give some young stud permission to save his life rather than being one more swb victim. We haven't been diving together since then.

When I was a Marine pilot, there was an old saying often repeated, and I'm sure you've heard it. "There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots." I think the same might be said about free dive spearfishing.
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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Aussie » August 11th, 2016, 4:52 pm

"Bill McIntyre"
What I really need is someone who can dig my fish up when they tie up deep in the kelp. :)


The fish are fun. The anchors at 80'+ not so much. ;)
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Re: Your Galley Biatch

Postby Smesh » August 13th, 2016, 8:13 pm

Even on a RIB in relatively shallow water and a decent swell free diving for anchors can be dangerous. My dive buddy decided he would dive down in 45' of water to pull out snagged anchor instead of me using my anchor ball and doing it the easy way. There was a good 5'+ swell that day and murky water. There was very little scope, lite rode and about 6' of chain. We had to have some slack because of the swell anyway as we bobbed up and down, but his plan was just to pop the small grapple anchor and be done. He's a really good diver, but the two stroke was running in neutral, he got a few good gulps of that before going down, then dropped. He couldn't get it free, so he put a couple of wraps of the rode around his hand and pulled. Just then a bunch of big swells came in close together and the boat rose taking up all the slack. The rope tightened around his hand and he couldn't let go. He finally got his hand loose and made it up. He wasn't really down there long, but without a good breath up and with that exhaust, it was pretty gassed and freaked out. I don't think he'll be insisting on doing that again and doesn't tease me about the pony bottle anymore. I haven't used it yet, but I'm not ashamed to. I also carry a carter float. Haven't used that yet either.
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